Happy International Day of Persons With Disabilities

December 3 is International Day of Persons With Disabilities. Many people with mental disorders qualify as being disabled. Severe mental illness can make it impossible to hold a job, drive a car, attend to personal hygiene, maintain a household, go shopping, or do many of the necessary activities of daily living that most take for granted. And yet many do not believe that those with diagnosed mental disorders should receive any governmental assistance. It can be a lot easier to have empathy and understanding for someone whose disability is visible, such as someone in a wheelchair, missing a limb, or someone with Down’s syndrome. I have written a poem on the topic I’d like to share with you here.

Invisible Disability

It’s waging a war fought by just one,

Sustaining hits to which no one else is

subjected,

And coming away with shrapnel

unsearchable by physical means,

While others deny a war is taking place,

Yet finding yourself on its front lines,

Without armor, unprotected, lacking well-

wishes of love and healing,

Hiding in public,

Camouflaging in plain sight,

Yet still the main target,

Required to fight,

Even while returns continue to diminish,

A losing battle.

Thoughtful, Minimalistic Holiday Gift Ideas

Even as a minimalist, it’s hard not to get caught up in the spirit of gift-giving that permeates the Holiday season. But what do you do when you don’t want to spend money on meaningless stuff as a way to show somebody you care? Fortunately, there are a lot of thoughtful, minimalistic gifts you can give to friends and family.

Experiences are great gifts to give. These include gift certificates for salon or massage therapy services, tickets to a concert or a theme park, or a day filled with hiking, skydiving, rock climbing, etc. Whenever they think about the fun day they had, they will remember you. And they won’t have to store, clean, or take the gift with them when they move.

You can offer to perform a certain service for them, such as babysitting for a day or cleaning their house. You’re offering your labor and time instead of money you would have spent on a physical gift. This is an incredibly thoughtful gift because they know you can always make more money but will never get that time back.

You can make them a gift, such as a craft, recipe, letter, poem, photo collage, scrapbook, or homemade video. This is a very thoughtful gift because it takes creativity, time, and a personal touch to come together. These gifts tend to elicit warm feelings towards the giver and create cherished memories.

You can find them the perfect gift on a freebie site. One man’s trash is another’s treasure, and the internet allows people to advertise the possessions they don’t want anymore. You might find just what they need/want, perhaps something that is not being carried by stores any longer.

You can donate to a charity in their name. This is a very thoughtful gift that allows you to spend on a worthwhile cause while honoring their passions and principles, allowing everybody involved to benefit.

Some of the most memorable gifts I have ever received have been non-monetary and had a personal touch involved. Instead of simply aiming to cross your loved ones’ names off a list by buying them something generic from a department store, experiment this season with giving thoughtful, creative, personal gifts. It will be easier on your wallet, get your creative juices flowing, and prove far more fulfilling.

Ten Lesser-Known Holiday-Viewing Favorites of Mine

We all have our favorite Holiday-themed shows and movies to watch at this time of year. And while I enjoy all the classics — A Christmas Story, Elf, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, etc., I also have some favorites many people might not have heard about. Allow me to share them here, in no particular order.

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The Christmas List (1997) — This ABC made-for-television movie is better than many would suspect. It’s a cute movie that demonstrates the magic of Christmas and the fact that things will get better if you have a little faith.

A Season for Miracles (1999) — Another made-for-tv movie, this time by CBS. This film demonstrates the power of love needed to make it through life’s struggles and the importance of never giving up hope.

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Disney’s Christmas Fantasy on Ice (1992) — A special featuring characters from Disney movies and famous ice-skaters. This is sure to entertain and warm the heart, and it’s really easy to sing along.

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Snowbound (1994) — Based on a true story, this CBS made-for-tv movie demonstrates the importance of love, family, and never giving up, even when everything seems hopeless.

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Christmas Every Day (1996) — Here’s another made-for-tv movie that stands out from the crowd. I personally enjoy this movie a lot more than Groundhog’s Day.

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Twilight Zone’s Changing of the Guard (1962) — An episode of Rod Serling’s original Twilight Zone series that is sure to bring a tear to the eye and never be forgotten.

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Annabelle’s Wish (1997) — A direct-to-film movie with a beautiful soundtrack. Although marketed to kids, I love it just as much now that I’m an adult.

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A Garfield Christmas (1987) — This half-hour tv special is another of my Holiday-viewing favorites. I enjoyed it as a child and still try to watch it every year.

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Black Christmas (1974) — If you’re looking for something a little different this season, you might be looking for this film. It’s a Christmas-themed horror film. And it’s really good.

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From All of Us to All of You (1958) — This tv special made by Disney is great viewing for the whole family. It includes different sketches or skits with different characters. Now in my late 30’s, it’s also one of the first shows I remember ever watching on tv.

Do you have any lesser-known favorites you’d like to share with me?

How to Decorate for the Holidays as a Minimalist

It’s easy to see a minimalistic lifestyle as limiting instead of freeing. It can be difficult to figure out how to participate in the festivities of the Holidays without accumulating and owning a lot of things. So how can you celebrate and enjoy the magic of this Holiday season while sticking to your principles, avoiding unnecessary spending, and keeping your physical and mental spaces clear?

red pillar candle on white table cloth

Instead of buying items that are specifically made to be used as decoration, find decorative ways to use items you already have. For example, pretty candles can be used not only as decoration, but as light sources and to make your home smell pleasant. Placemats, tablecloths, bedding, and couch throws all can be used for both their original purpose as well as decoration. Photos, postcards, and greeting cards can also be displayed and used as decoration. White lights can both be used to decorate spaces during the Holiday season as well as other times of the year. Many people use them around their bed, photo collages, plants, and other areas around their homes to add a little extra charm year-round.

leafless tree on white wall

Another tip is to keep your home clean and uncluttered. That way, even if you have only one candle decorating a room, it will stand out and make the whole room look and feel festive. This can seem a lot more special and definitely more aesthetically-pleasing than a mantel full of knick-knacks. Natural materials like branches, burlap, pine cones, and twine give your home a comfy, not overly-done-up vibe.

shallow focus photo of red holiday tree ornament

You can also make your own decorations, which is more economical and eco-friendly than purchasing materials. It’s also a fun activity to do with family or friends. For example, I am planning on making a gingerbread house with my 3-year-old niece, as well as making ornaments for the tree.

hanging snowflakes paper decor

Choose decorations that can be used all season long, if not all year long, instead of for one specific holiday. For example, choose snowmen, which can be used all winter instead of Santa Claus, which doesn’t apply after December 25.

closed blue wooden door

Only have a certain amount of decorations. I know one person who has so many Christmas decorations, she is never able to use all of them and often forgets what she has. Keep a small collection of your favorites and focus on quality over quantity. Even a simple wreath hanging on the front door can transform the looks of a house.

Please let me know any tips you have for making your home reflect the beauty and cheer of the season while keeping your minimalistic principles in mind.

Eight Tips for Staving Off Depression During the Holidays

While the Holidays are touted as an inherently happy, uplifting time of the year, for many people it is anything but. In fact, it can be a depressing time that many just try to “get through”. This time of the year can highlight the things that are wrong in your life, such as a lack of money or family or love. So what can you do to ease the pain?

Be grateful. I know this wisdom can often come off as trite and preachy, but it has worked for me. Whenever I am feeling disconsolate, that the world is against me, that nothing ever goes my way, I think about the positives in my life. I think about what I have that many other people lack. I think about the ways in which I’m fortunate, what I’ve achieved, what I’ve been given, and the ways in which my life is a lot easier and fuller than other people’s. I don’t do this to gloat but instead to foster a grateful attitude in myself and to avoid encouraging negative thinking patterns. And it almost always works. Don’t criticize yourself for not having what others have. Others might have more money, closer families, and better love lives. They most likely also had different upbringings, experiences, and opportunities in life. They also likely face struggles you don’t know about. Keep your focus on you.

Don’t overextend yourself. It’s not worth getting into debt or stressing yourself over money in order to spend more than you can afford just to fit in with everyone else. Avoid getting wrapped up (pun unintended) in the commercialism of the season.

Don’t concentrate on the past. Times might have been better back then. Holidays past might have been a lot cheerier. Thinking about those times might remind you of what you had and what you lost. We can’t go back, only forward, so concentrate on the changes you can make NOW to ensure happier future Holiday seasons.

Make your own traditions. Maybe your family didn’t have any or you don’t subscribe to them. Make your own and start a new generational tradition among your family or friends. Post about it on social media if you have an account. Start a trend. Inspire others.

Attend to self-care. Be extra gentle with yourself around this time of year. It can already be a dreary, cold time. Don’t beat yourself up for having a different life than others or for not being able to enjoy the season the way many others can.

Avoid over-indulging in sweets. While they make you happy in the moment, the inevitable crash can lead to depression. You don’t have to totally deprive yourself unless you have an issue with self-control around food, but make sure you’re not using sweets to fill the void in your life that this season can trigger.

Keep yourself busy. Attend to tasks you’ve been putting off like cleaning or donating unwanted items. Use this season to concentrate on productive pursuits instead of allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity.

Be open to happiness and light. Don’t harden your heart or allow resentment to occur. Consider attending a Holiday party, inviting a friend over for dinner, or taking a drive to see the festive lights and decorations many people put out this time of year. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or help an elderly neighbor. Embrace the good parts of the season even though you might find it sorrowful, as well.

I hope everyone celebrating Thanksgiving today is having a wonderful holiday. And I hope you’re taking care of yourselves in all of the most important ways, including attending to your mental health, and that you will continue to do so throughout this Holiday season. Stay safe and warm!

Red Flags When Job-Hunting

I have done a lot of job-hunting in my day and have come across a lot of the same red flags during my searches. I thought I’d share them with you, as I know job-hunting is not easy, the process of interviewing can be grueling, and the amount and variety of job ads posted on the internet can be overwhelming.

The company is disorganized. This could mean they don’t get back to you when they say they will. They lose part of your application. Their web site doesn’t work. Or other signs they don’t “run a tight ship”. If it’s like this before you’re hired, it most likely will be the same afterwards and could prove to be a big headache.

The pay is not stated. You’ll notice job ads always include what they’re looking for in an employee and the qualifications of the job. But job ads that don’t also include the wages/salary and other employee benefits are disrespectful of a job seeker’s time, energy, and expectations. At the very least, they should offer a range (to account for differences in years of experience and education level). Best believe they will require an application and resume from you before bothering to reach out, so they should also divulge what they “bring to the table” as an employer.

They seem desperate to hire you. They don’t want to give you time to think it over. They make an offer on the spot. They receive your application and are wanting to interview you the next day. They act unhappy when you tell them you plan on giving your current workplace a two weeks’ notice before you can begin work. These are all red flags that they’re not the sweet deal you might think they are.

They violate labor laws. They ask you inappropriate questions during the interview (“Are you pregnant/have kids?” “Do you believe in God?” Etc.) or sneak legally unenforceable language into your contract, such as not sharing your salary with your coworkers. This means they’re either stupid for running a business without knowing the law, they perceive you as stupid and believe you don’t know the law, or they just don’t care about breaking the law. If they’re doing this now, you can be sure they will do more of the same after you’re hired.

They require too many hoops be jumped through for a low-paying, dead-end job. Multiple interviews, multiple assessments, multiple kinds of background checks over months. They might be unreasonable employers looking for a unicorn to fill the role. Even if you get the job, you might find you’re miserable in the role.

Job duties are not clearly defined. This might mean they don’t have a clear vision for the role themselves. This might mean they need a Girl or Guy Friday whose job responsibilities will be loosely-defined and boundary-less. Either way, it’s important for you to know what you’re getting yourself into, and it’s important for them to communicate this in the job ad so as not to waste your time.

You find lots of bad reviews online or lawsuits related to them. This means others have “run the gauntlet” before you and serve as warnings so you don’t have to find out the hard way.

They are constantly posting ads. This means a high turn-over rate, which probably means it’s not the best place to work. If the job is as great an opportunity as what’s being advertised, why aren’t they able to keep employees?

They are open 24/7 hours or say something like “Monday to Friday job but we may need you some nights/weekends.” This could mean a poor work/life balance for you if you take this role.

The ad uses flowery, infomercial-like language like “Do you want unlimited earning potential? More freedom? Do you want to reach your dreams?” These are often commission-based sales jobs which will entail a lot more work than you might be expecting. There are usually two types of people in this job: the majority who “sink” and end up quitting or being fired, and those few who “swim”, who very often have the personality traits and connections that make them good at this type of work.

They promise very high income for little to no education/credentials. If anyone could do this job but the salary/wage is suspiciously high, it’s probably not a legit opportunity. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Very high qualifications are required for a low salary. They want something for nothing and have no intentions of treating you fairly.

Pay is commission-based with little or no base pay. This can be okay if you’re not in a position where you need to be making money immediately and where you’re already a great salesperson and the product/service you’re selling is something for which there is a high demand. Otherwise, you might put in a whole lot of time and effort for little to no pay. Also, these very often entail sales jobs where you have to come up with your own leads, which means bugging family, friends, and strangers in line at the grocery store. These jobs can be very lucrative, but it takes a certain specific type of person to feel comfortable in this role.

What red flags have you identified when job-hunting?

What the Jobs I’ve Held Have Taught Me About Myself

I’ve held several different jobs, in different fields. Some I have liked and felt were a good fit. Others I simply tolerated but did not feel comfortable doing or enjoy. I believe my experience is pretty typical of most workers. Here I’d like to consider the reasons behind why certain jobs were “right for me” and certain jobs weren’t. I think you can learn a lot about yourself based on the kinds of jobs you do well in and those you don’t, those that inspire you and those that drain you.

I have worked as a childcare professional, as both a private babysitter and in group settings (daycare and gym kids’ club). From this line of work, I have learned that I enjoy creativity in my job. For example, I got to make up games, do crafts, and make lots of cool things with Legos with the kids. However, the chaotic, unpredictable nature of children and working in child care do not jive with my spirit but instead cause me anxiety.

I have worked as a caregiver to the elderly via a senior care agency. I enjoyed the solo nature of this work —not having any coworkers—because I worked with private clients and generally in private homes. Even when I would go to a nursing home, assisted living facility, or hospital, I worked one-on-one with the client. I also really enjoyed hearing my elderly clients’ stories and life experiences from past eras, as I love history, and it intrigues me. However, similar to child care, it caused me great anxiety to have someone’s life in my hands or to have to respond quickly and competently to unexpected scenarios arising, such as dementia-related outbursts or medical emergencies. I am not great “on my feet” and feel much more secure when I have gotten the chance to prepare. Driving these clients (in my own car, no less) was also risky and stressful.

I have worked as a retail manager. I enjoyed, once again, the solo nature of this work. I worked in a tiny gift shop owned by an individual with two other managers in charge of the store. I worked second shift and was the only employee in the shop during my shift. Not even the owner was around unless he happened to drop by for a few minutes to take care of some business. I had great responsibilities including ordering stock, money- counting, ensuring shop security, etc. As a result, I took great pride in my job and enjoyed not being micromanaged by anybody. However, it was stressful not having anybody around to help when the shop was very busy or when I had to deal with irate customers.

I have worked as an at-home transcriptionist. The work was legal transcription of a court reporter’s audio files. It required incredible attention to detail and constant focus. I enjoyed using my grammar and spelling strengths in this position, the lack of coworkers and micromanagement, and the ability to take breaks when needed. I could stop early for the day and wake up to do work in the middle of the night if I wanted, as long as I got the work done by the deadline. However, the work was incredibly tedious and mentally-draining.

I have worked as a patient observer. This job was a non-medical position in a hospital emergency room that required me to do room searches and personal searches of patients deemed to be homicidal or suicidal, in order to protect everybody’s safety. It required me never to take my eyes off the patient and to ensure they didn’t have anything they could hurt themselves or others with, such as pens, scissors, or sheets (they might hang themselves). I was constantly pitted between what my supervisors wanted me to do and what the nurses on the floor wanted to be done, and this actually caused me to feel much greater anxiety and insecurity than working with violent patients.

Several years ago, I worked in a major corporate pharmacy chain for a day before quitting. I was hired as a retail associate and was required to do many tasks, including both stocking and cashiering. The training was minimal, most on the computer (so not very practical), and the job was absolutely chaotic. I’d be sitting on the floor stocking something on the bottom shelf when I’d be yelled at by someone to check the front counter because a customer (who I wasn’t able to see from my vantage point) was waiting to check out.

Several years ago, I worked for a major residential cleaning company for a week before realizing that kind of physical labor wasn’t going to be something I could stand on any kind of a consistent basis, and the pay scheme was such that you didn’t actually know how much you’d be paid.

I have worked as a live-in personal assistant. This was another job that allowed me great freedom over when I did my work and how I did my work. I worked for a woman who was the president of a company headquartered in NYC who needed me to cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, make/answer phone calls, and chauffeur herself and her teenage son. I had tons of free time during the day and could run errands of my own in-between. I would say in a 12-hour day I generally had about 2 hours’ worth of actual work to do. However, I felt a little trapped not being able to go back to my own home every night and feeling pressured to do things with the family members outside of my work hours.

My most recent job, up until Covid, was working a desk job in a call center. Although I had lots of coworkers, I rarely interacted with them because I was constantly on the phone doing work at my own cubicle. I have been working this job from home now since April. I enjoy interacting with members over the phone better than in-person, as it is less stressful for me. I enjoy that it is only inbound calls that I make and that it doesn’t include having to make any sales. However, it can be stressful dealing with computers and computer systems that don’t always work, as well as having to learn new systems and software from time to time.

I have learned from my work experiences that I don’t want to do emotional labor. It brings up too many feelings and memories of my own and I feel too great a responsibility for the person. I don’t want to be micromanaged but I do want to have the support there when I need it. I don’t like feeling as though my supervisors think I’m stupid, but I also don’t like feeling as though everything ultimately lies on my shoulders and I don’t have a sounding board. I like knowing what’s expected of me and having those expectations remain consistent. I don’t like being told contradictory information. I want to make sure I’m doing my job well. I like challenges but do not like being set up for failure. I appreciate jobs that are relatively routine but allow me to express my creative side and use my own discretion. I like doing my job but then also having a life separate from that job when the work day has ended. I don’t want work life bleeding into my “real” life. What have you learned about yourself based on the jobs you’ve held?

Can You Trust Your Memory?

Recently, I was discussing some events from a long time ago with a family member. I was surprised to find out that details I thought I very clearly remembered were incorrect. It got me thinking about the possibility of memory being untrustworthy. How is it possible to be so certain you remember something one way when it actually happened another? Or to be positive of certain people, places, or things, but have that information incorrect, as well?

It’s possible to confuse memories with secondhand information. For example, if a story is told enough times within a family, you might start to create mental images in much the same way you do when immersed in reading a book. Eventually, if asked, you will report that you remember an event or conversation of which you actually have no firsthand knowledge.

Your memory is largely filtered by your experiences, personality, and mindset. If you want something to have happened or to have played out in a certain way, it is possible to convince yourself it did. Also, two people can go through the exact same event together yet remember it very differently later on, because their respective minds are filtering the event through different mental paradigms. You might see an event as inherently positive, while somebody else involved could have a very different perspective on that memory. Additionally, if you have had similar experiences, it is possible to merge the memories of two separate occasions into one without realizing it. It’s also possible to use similar situations you’ve experienced to determine how you feel about a certain memory in a similar context. For example, if you generally had bad experiences at all your birthday parties growing up, your mind might not allow you to remember a positive birthday party experience you had because of your conditioned expectation that your birthday parties are not meant to go well, that something bad “always” happens. Personally, I engage in a lot of maladaptive daydreaming, which is a psychological term for creating a fake, yet very convincing reality in order to escape one’s traumas and disappointments. This kind of daydreaming can go on for hours at a time and seem very real. I have experienced confusion in the past when trying to remember if a certain conversation actually happened or if I had daydreamed it.

Your mind tends to fill in gaps in your memory over time. It can feel frustrating, unbalancing, even scary not to remember an event that happened to you in its entirety. It can feel urgent to remember. It can feel (and can actually be) dangerous to forget. It’s possible that after a while your mind will begin to fill in the missing pieces by itself as to give you an entire story, unbroken, from start to finish. I know there have been times I think to myself, “I used to know this. How could I have forgotten? I was even talking about this not so long ago. Did it go like this? That certainly makes sense in the story and I can see that happening, so I think it probably went like that.” Later on down the line, you won’t even remember that you had assumed that part had unfolded in a certain way. You will come to believe you had always retained the memory that way.

But why does any of this matter? How should the above be applied to living a peaceful, fulfilling life? So many people are holding themselves back because of what they deem to be bad memories of negative events that occurred to them in the past, sometimes in the far distant past. Events or conversations that took place and continue to haunt them until this day. Perhaps a recital they feel went terribly or an important talk with a friend they felt they didn’t handle well. However, as we have seen, many of our memories are simply our subconscious fears and insecurities pretending to be fact. Our memories may or may not have actually taken place. Speaking to other people who were there (if the memory is even real at all), it might be surprising to find out they have very different perspectives on what occurred. So do not allow the past to affect your future, because it might not really even be true reflections of your past. Do not elevate your perceptions and perspectives to the height of unarguable truth. Do not give something that might or might not even be real that kind of power over your happiness going forward. Realize that you are in control of your narrative and that you can choose to interpret life experiences as important or insignificant, fateful or impotent, ruinous or enlightening. All that ultimately exists and all that ultimately matters is the present.

How to Rock a Job Interview

I know there’s already a million blog posts on the web regarding what to do and not to do in job interviews, but I figured, what would one million and one hurt? So here are some tips I have found helpful at rocking a job interview.

Always be positive. Especially when being asked about why you are leaving your current company, always give a positive answer regardless of what the truth is. Never bash a former employer. Don’t say your employer was unfair or corrupt or uncaring. Don’t say you got sick of the work that you did, even if it is a different type of work. You never know the person interviewing you and what their personal history is. For example, if you say, “I just really got tired of watching children and wanted to switch out of the childcare field”, they might start considering whether the daycare workers at their own child’s daycare actually enjoy their job or whether they dislike the work they do. Remember that people tend to feel about you the way you make them feel about themselves. You never know whose toes you might be stepping on if you allow any sort of negativity to enter your narrative. Always keep it positive. “I am looking for a new challenge” is one that always works.

Learn enough about the company to give some facts about it. You should know what they do and a little about their history. You should be able to explain how your experience, skills, and talents fit the role for which the company is hiring. Remember, it’s not about what they can do for you (“These hours work great for my my schedule”) but instead what you can do for them (“I have 5 years of experience in the position you’re advertising and have certifications proving I have the technical knowledge required for the job”).

If you’ve never done the job for which you’re interviewing, consider roles and responsibilities you’ve held in other jobs that are similar. Connect the dots for the interviewer so they see that you are in fact capable of handling the job duties. Express your passion to expand your knowledge and broaden your expertise in a certain field.

Ask questions. Employers want you to ask questions. That lets them know you’re interested in the position and that you’ll be a good fit. Ask more about what the position entails, what a typical work day looks like, what the company culture is like, and, if you’re interested, how easy it is to move up in the company. Employers like hearing that candidates are interested in moving up because that lets them know you’re looking to stay somewhere for a while instead of jumping ship in six months.

Look confident and capable. Big, broad smiles. Good posture — shoulders back, back straight. Strong handshake (assuming it’s an in-person interview and it’s not the Covid Era). Build rapport with the interviewer. Most communication happens through body language, not words, and most people leave an impression of themselves within seconds of meeting a stranger. You want the interviewer to have a good feeling when they think about you. This unconscious bias can help you score the job, or, alternatively, lose the opportunity.

These are some tips that I have found help me stand out from the crowd when interviewing for a job. I hope they help you. Please share any tips that you have found beneficial when job-hunting.

How to Deal With Bossy Coworkers

Has anyone had the experience of having a coworker that acts like a supervisor? Someone who tells you what you’re doing wrong, what you should be doing, tries to bully you into doing things more like they do them, etc? I have had someone like this at every job I’ve worked (excluding the positions I’ve worked where I didn’t have coworkers). Shout out to Sandy, Shanda, Summer, and Nicole! It can be maddening to have people attempt to direct you when they are in no position to do so. And considering most people work at least 40 hours a week, it can really have a negative impact on your life. However, I have found some productive ways to diffuse these situations.

Ignore them. They are not your supervisor, and so you do not owe them an answer of explanation for the way you do things. Be civil, but do not respond when they are attempting to put you on the defensive, criticize you, or change your work style.

Assess yourself honestly and consider if you’re in the wrong. Maybe you do need to change something regarding your job performance or the way you interact with others at work. Maybe you are being inconsiderate or violating work policies. Perhaps they are confronting you about it, giving you the chance to improve, before going to a supervisor because they don’t want you getting in trouble. Ask them to give specific examples of what they believe you’re doing wrong. They might have some merit. If they can’t give examples, you’ve called their bluff.

Keep your cool. By responding angrily, you will be the one who appears at fault, even if their stance has no merit. Don’t take the bait. Always take the high road.

Tell them to go to your supervisor. If you are doing nothing wrong and they continue to harass you, suggest they do not contact you anymore but instead go to your supervisor. If you are not in the wrong, their going to your supervisor will only make them look petty, foolish, jealous, and difficult.

I think there are different reasons for this type of bossy behavior. Some people are arrogant and believe they know more than you do. Some people are insecure and are going on the attack because it feels better than being on the defense. Some people are attempting to get the attention of the boss because they want to be promoted. Does anybody have other tips or tricks that have proven effective in dealing with a bossy coworker? If so, please share!