I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how our perspective becomes our reality. The way we see situations and events determines how those things will affect us. Even the words we use shape our worldview, which in turn shapes our stances and emotions.
For example, I often hear the term “failed marriage”. But why do we conclude a marriage has failed just because it has ended? Perhaps it is the traditional “’til death do we part” part. Can a marriage be called a failure if the members of that marriage were happy for at least part of it and learned something from the experience? Is a marriage seen as “failed” because of the implied religious mandates that the couple never sever the relationship? Perhaps your parents, pastor, or society itself has taught you that marriage should be life-long, even if the situation becomes untenable for one or both spouse(s). Perhaps you’ve internalized that belief and therefore convinced yourself that you’re a “quitter” or that you didn’t try “hard enough”.
But this post really isn’t about marriage. It’s about perspective becoming reality. We have to be so careful to only humor the thoughts we think about ourselves that uplift us, not those that tear us down. Because ultimately, our thoughts become our own personal reality. I am trying to remember this daily by not dwelling on what I consider to be negative and constantly either reframing stressors in my life or concentrating on more important, pleasant things. I also definitely notice that it’s easier not to obsess over an issue or think of it it in a negative light if my life is otherwise full of positivity. Adopting positive perspectives can be a struggle, but it gets easier with practice and is always worth the work.